Rag Doll

It glistens and gleams so tempting in the distance
A twinkling mirage of wholeness, completion, the most comfortable surrender.
In a moment of helplessness, it is erased, and the beautiful shimmering
landscape is winked out of existence, replaced by a vast, terrifying emptiness.
A vacuum of deadly space.

There’s a hole in me, and the blackness is getting sucked in. A vortex.

I want to feel something other than this endless, monotonous, buzzing numb.

Baptize me in Hope
Bathe me in the Waters of Plenty
Sew up my broken parts with spring grass
Stuff the gaps with earth and blossoms
I will lie cocooned in a bed of tiger lily leaves, waiting, incubating
The Universe’s raggedy doll

I just feel like a fucking mess.

I need to clean the house.

Fuck.